A CRITICAL Skill That Nobody Is Talking About

You don’t need to be a business owner for this skill to be important, It’s something we all need for every day life and interactions. Have you guessed it? People skills.

People skills are something that so many of us are lacking. In this day and age of texting and being behind a screen, it’s no wonder people don’t talk about improving their people skills. There are remote jobs, remote learning, so much of our day to day we no longer interact with people in person anymore. That is why it is important to put effort into improving and maintaining our people skills.

As a business owner, you are interacting with people every day. Whether it be customers, employees, mechanics, suppliers, you name it, you are bound to interact with someone throughout your day. You also need to have people skills to interact appropriately with others in your life whether it be you wife, other family members, or people you meet while running errands.

I am not a people skills master, but I have spent a lot of time reading and learning about how people work because I recognized that I needed to improve my own people skills. I was and still very much am an introvert, inward focused, dry and calculated. I have that “engineer” kind of thinking. Do you know any engineers that are the life of the party? I sure don’t. So I had to put in a lot of work to get myself and my business out there, so that I could be successful.

As far as people skills I think there is a range of those that have mastered it and can start a conversation with ease and they leave you with a feeling of excitement. There are beginners, those that have a lot to learn and struggle having everyday interactions. Finally, I think there is a wide array of people in the middle, those that have come a long way from where they’ve started, but still have not mastered their people skills. I would consider myself to be one of those in the middle. I have learned a lot, but I still have a ways to go. Below are some tips and tricks that helped in my journey to improve my people skills:

Eye Contact
93% of all communication is nonverbal, now that includes body language but eye contact is most certainly part of that 93%. Personally, I know I’m being an effective communicator if I have your eyes. If you maintain eye contact with me as we speak then I know you are listening and I know my message is being communicated. If your eyes are wandering around as you are speaking, how can your message be delivered effectively?

Voice Inflection
Having variety in the tone of your voice makes the listener interested and it gives them insight to how you feel about what you are talking about. If you are excited about your business and the services you are selling, your voice may get a bit higher and louder. You don’t want to speak in a monotone voice as that will give the message that you are not excited about your job, so why would the customer want to give you their business?

Body Language
Back to that 93%, when you are selling a service to a customer are you standing there with your arms crossed with your grumpy face on? Hopefully not, because that does not display an inviting and exciting attitude. It gives off that you don’t want or need their business.

Slow Down
Some people, myself included, talk way too fast. I have to remind myself that when I am talking to someone outside of my family I need to slow down so that they can understand what I say. We don’t want to overwhelm people when we talk to them, we want them to feel comfortable.

Speed Up
On the other side of that coin, you don’t want to talk so slowly that people lose the message. If you are trying to sell something and go off on several tangents, by the end of the conversation the customer isn’t going to know what you are trying to sell. Just like there are people that talk super quickly, there are those that talk very slowly. There is a balance somewhere in the middle, speaking in a way that people can understand you and concise enough that they understand the message.

Speak Up
Speak with confidence and excitement. You want the customer to hear the passion you feel for your business. Those that are confident in their abilities do not shy away and speak super quietly.

Humor and Likability
People are so afraid that anything they say will offend someone and there is some truth to that, but it’s important to remain authentic to who you are. If you are kind, honest, and authentically you, you will be better off building trust with a customer and the liability will come naturally.

Build Bridges
Whether you believe it or not, there is something you can connect on with every person. Whether it’s the fact that you both have kids, or are both from the same area, or perhaps you work in similar industries. You may need to dig a little, but you can always find a way to connect with someone to deliver your message. Instead of bombarding people and being a pushy salesman, find a way to build a bridge.

When it came to developing my own people skills I turned to books. The list of books that I have learned from goes on and on and will continue to grow as time passes. It’s important to know that we are all still learning. No one has all the answers, so take this life as an opportunity to learn and grow. If you’re looking for some recommendations, any of these are a good place to start. I have read them all and found value in each and everyone.

How to Win Friends and Influence People
Bringing Out the Best in People: How to Enjoy Helping Others Excel
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable
Wired That Way: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Maximizing Your Personality Type
How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People
The Art Of Dealing With People
See You at the Top: 25th Anniversary Edition
Everyone Communicates Few Connect
Skill With People
Dealing with Difficult People
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership
The 360 Degree Leader: Developing Your Influence from Anywhere in the Organization
The 5 Levels of Leadership: Proven Steps to Maximize Your Potential